Why no man?

So, the internet has created this entire new medium for people to hit on each other with. I respect that. I do not respect, however, the blatant uncreativity that has resulted from this new format.

A little bit of dullness can be expected in a live action pick-up. Afterall, the pick-upER is on the spot and likely to fall back on tried and true methods of hitting-on (the language in this blog is very awkard, so far- 'pick-up and hit-on conjugated in different words- if anyone has better ideas, please let me know).

But on the interweb, there is time to think before you write. And yet, on myspace, these are the sorts of messages I very often get:

hi your cute why no man?

That is not a paraphrase. It is an actual message sent to me by a young man attending a nearby college.

How is that, in any way, supposed to impress me or grab my attention?

But, in honor of that hideous message, I am composing a short list.

WHY NO MAN
1- Circumstance.
2- Bad Choices.
3- Limited Availability.
4- Good Choices.
5- High Standards.
6- Beneath my clothes, my body is completely covered with scales.

It is certainly not a crime to be 23 and single. As I told my Dad last night at dinner, when we weren't arguing about politics.

Dad: Well, I don't understand anything about registering. Maybe if one of my daughters ever got married.
***Keep in mind, my sisters are 17 and 12, so by 'one of my daughters', the man meant me. Also, as my mother pointed out to him, he was married twice, so he should know something about registering.***
Me: Think of it this way- isn't it better for me to be single than to be married to one of the losers I've met so far?

Then my Dad lifted his glass of Chianti in a toast to me and my single-ness.

Take that, world!