Just a little further...

My friend and I are participating in a marathon in February. It is 26.2 miles, to raise money to fight AIDS.

I'll be asking for donations later.

This weekend, I had my first official training session. It was a 3 mile run/walk, and through the course of the...course, I found myself playing the role of the motivator. There was a lot of: 'Let's just run to the next street, then we can walk', 'Let's run to that light post', 'Look how far we've come, we've almost made it' and 'Shut up, you CAN do this, you just don't want to'.

This is how I motivate myself day to day, I think. I set boundaries, small goals, and I meet them one at a time.

I can make it through one more month in this job...I can make it through one more hour without calling him...I can write one more chapter before bed...

And then, when the little goals aren't working so well, I look at the past. If I've made it this far, why should I stop now?

And finally, in those moments of self-pity and abject failure, when I feel like I can't do it anymore, there's the bullying: 'Shut up! You can do this!'

Really, it's dealing with the men in my life that has prepared me the best. Trying to wait until the last possible moment to call a guy, so he doesn't realize how interested I am. Or the long distance process of getting over a man while taking everything one day at a time, one emotion at a time.

So I think in many ways, I'm already very well trained for a marathon. I just have to catch up, physically.