I wish I had been this woman...

marriedtothesea.com

It's true...

I have spent most of my day reading dinosaur comics.



Now that I have posted that I will have to do many more postings, quickly, before the way the large image has screwed up my menu drives me insane.

Maybe it's just because I'm an absolute child, but I find this hilarious:




Also, an interesting article in the New York Times on Sesame Street now and then. I'm curious...if today's Sesame Street is bubblegum technicolor fluff and the original Sesame Street was inner city grime, what was the Sesame Street of my childhood?

My favorite fun fact from this article? Until 1985, Big Bird was the only character who could see Snuffleupagus, and all the other Sesame Streeters thought he was hallucinating.

Another chapter in myspace lovin'

I don't really use myspace much anymore. Though back in the early days, it seemed inconceivable that this should ever come to pass, I'm a facebook gal now. I do like to sign in every now and then, however, if for nothing more than little gems like this:


Hi!

I really like your pic...and just wanted to say hello. I'm a big fan of your face.


Cuz, really, how can you resist that kind of sweet talkin'?

So true...

Except the kendra/moth part.

remember this?

June is Bustin' Out All Over...

I get a lot of weekend visitors to New York and, now that the weather is nice again, they're just popping out of the woodwork. You know who else is popping out of the woodwork? Pregnant ladies. It's one of the first things my out of town friends comment on when we start to walk around the city: "There sure are a lot of pregnant women in New York."

There really are. They're everywhere. Often in groups.

Are there more pregnant women here than elsewhere? Or did I just not notice them at home because they were always driving cars? It's one of the great mysteries of life?


In other news...
- I know three pregnant women right now and one who has recently delivered. All of them are having/had boys. My next pregnant acquaintance better be having a girl. I'm tired of buying blue stuff.
- Today, as a special treat at work, we had chocolate pecan pie with vanilla bourbon ice cream. Almost everyone- woman included- indulged in this treat. My one female coworker did not, but I recently discovered (by stalking her on myspace) that she models on the side, so I'm really not surprised.
- If the free work food does not stop being so delicious, I am going to be busting out of my bridesmaid dress all over come July.
- I want to start a book blog (book reviews, etc.), cuz it looks like fun. And I'm bored at work. And these ladies crack me up. Anyone interested?

Yeah. That pretty much covers it.

source

Almost an Addendum to Last Night's Rant...

So, it's kind of scary that there are a quite a few people in my past who I don't realize are a)Married or b) Having Kids until I see it in their profile on facebook/myspace.

And that's just wrong.

When do we give up on myspace/facebook? We're the first generation to be faced with this particular issue. Is there a time in our lives when we're supposed to say, "Nope, I'm too old for this form of communication, for this sort of awkward soul-baring. I'm deleting my account"? Or are we supposed to be eighty-two year old men and women leaving messages on each other's walls ("I need a new pair of teeth- any suggestions" or "Sorry, I can't come out tonight. The grandkids are in town")?


In other news, this is obviously the beverage of the future.

And then I laughed

marriedtothesea.com

If you've been spending a lot of time lately reading late eighteenth/early nineteenth century seduction fiction (guilty) and proscrastinating on important papers by writing blogs (also guilty- see last three entries and this one), this comic just hits home.

Yes, toothpaste for dinner is hilarious.

No, this is not my goal for life in New York.

Pieces of Web: Heath, Harry and Hemingway

what I enjoyed on the interweb today...

From my daily newsletter, The Writer's Almanac:
"The greatest gift is a passion for reading. It is cheap, it consoles, it distracts, it excites, it gives you knowledge of the world and experience of a wide kind. It is a moral illumination." ~ Elizabeth Hardwick
"An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex." ~ Aldous Huxley

Heath Ledger will be playing the Joker in the next Batman (Begins) movie...can I handle Heath Ledger and Christian Bale in the same movie? Oh, the beauty! I hope Tom Cruise's child love slave skips this film (she is not yet listed in the cast on imdb.com). Also: how far from Jack Nicholson can the casting agents get?

What will the wine industry think of next? First they started making excellent wines with screw caps (which are much more reliable than cork). Now good wines are being put into boxes and jugs. Pretty soon, wine afficianados (or in my case, wanna-bes) won't have anything to be snobby about!

Grey's Anatomy spoilers(ish) discussed on TV Guide's Ask Ausiello here. Apparently, Patrick Dempsey is tired of McDreamy being so wishy-washy about his women, and Ellen Pompeo is boring. Also, the first episode takes place mere hours after last season's cliff-hanger. I can't wait! Over at Grey Matter, Shonda Rhimes has 1006 comments on her latest blog. If only I had that kind of following.

I wish I could have made it to NYC for this event: John Irving (genius) and Stephen King (blockbuster), acting as 'warm up bands' for JK Rowling (goddess). What I don't understand? How any fan- of the book OR movie- could possibly still think that Harry and Hermione are meant to end up together.

The many uses of myspace continue to multiply: the writers/show producers of America's Next Top Model are using myspace to promote their strike.

Discourse on the main 'curse' word of my childhood. No, I didn't cuss as a child (I still don't use foul language around my parents), but my mother would blanche and yell over the word 'sucks'.

And, just because Hemingway has been popping up so much in my blog lately- here's a bit about his cats. Hemingway's six-toed cats, named after celebrities such as Frank Sinatra and Pablo Picasso are a fixture at the writer's home in Key West. But for how long (cue ominous music)?

And a note from my personal emails: I will have Tivo in the new apartment. It doesn't get any better than that.

Parents: ‘My’space can be yours, too!

Before I sat down to write this, I had to reconcile myself with what I am doing and why. I believe in privacy: am I infringing on this right? I’m only twenty-three, and I have some skeletons in my shallow closet: can I point a finger at people only half a decade younger? I’ve never had kids: can I criticize parents who turn a blind eye to their offspring’s behavior? And finally: do I really care what the younger part of my generation is doing with their lives?

Since the answer to the last question is an emphatic ‘yes’, I had no choice but to write this piece.

It is no newsflash that a large portion of this country’s kids are partaking in far too much alcohol, drugs and sex to make most of us comfortable. Everyone’s looking for someone to blame: the media, the schools, the country, the parents.

Parents are in the best position to correct individual behavior. Certainly it is a difficult position. Teenagers don’t generally confess their illegal behavior. And many parents believe that their kids deserve privacy. No one wants to be the Mom or Dad who rushes up to search the bedroom the moment a child leaves for school. Privacy is important. Trust is important, though not always earned. And in the end, the main enforcer of justice in a child’s life must be the parent. But how do we discover if a crime has been committed?

Mothers and fathers of America, may I direct your attention to the internet?

The internet is an easy tool for your teenager, and it is oh-so-public. In all probability, your child has been using it for years to chat with friends on AIM, record personal thoughts publicly in a blog, or post pictures taken on a digital camera at the latest party. All of these tools have come together on myspace. Those of us who can’t get enough of airing our privacy like it because it’s extensive and easy-to-use.

It’s easy for parents to use as well.

I’ll give you a step by step introduction. Go to www.myspace.com. Click on ‘Search’. Type your child’s name in Friend Finder- first and last. Sift through the results, noting clues like photos and location.

Once you find your teenager’s profile, you will be able to view personal photos, comments from friends, blogs and much more. It’s not spying. Neither is it impeding on your child’s privacy, as this is the same information he or she makes available to millions of strangers every day. It’s good parenting.

It is possible your child doesn’t utilize this site, but with almost fifty million users just in my network alone, it’s worth a look. Perhaps your kid’s best friend or boyfriend is a myspace user. There are also other blog sites, such as blogger and livejournal, and sites where your teenager can post digital pictures. These are all harder to search through; with myspace, all that’s required is a name.

My little sister just turned eighteen and is a high school senior. We both have myspace profiles. She is my myspace ‘friend’. Through her high school career, I never found anything inappropriate on her profile page. Her seventeen year old friends are a different story. I see pictures of them with bottles of alcohol in their hands and comments about how drunk they were on New Year’s Eve. They answer survey questions about drug use and sex.

Most teenagers think their parents don’t know how to check up on their internet activities. Most teenagers are correct. However, this tool is available to you. It is possible to see what your child is doing with his or her free time without looking for a diary or drug traces or violating the private sanctity of the bedroom.

None of this matters if parents don’t use this information. There’s no site where your peers can check up on how you raise your children and if you discipline them for bad behavior. That’s your freedom and your choice. This piece is for those of you who care and who will act.

This has been my public service announcement.

I like my Fridays with a side of sap and cheer...

I got this email from a friend of mine this morning. It is probably entirely made up, much like the bonzai kittens she sent me earlier in the year. However, I thought it was cute, so I included some of it below.

What does Love mean?
A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love mean?"

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love."
~ Rebecca, age 8

"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth."
~ Billy, age 4

"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other."
~ Karl, age 5

"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs."
~ Chrissy, age 6

Love is what makes you smile when you're tired"
~ Terri, age 4

""Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."
~ Danny, age 7

"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more."
~Emily, age 8

"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen."
~ Bobby, age 7

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday."
~ Noelle, age 7

"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore."
~ Cindy, age 8

"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken."
~ Elaine, age 5

"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day."
~ Mary Ann, age 4

"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones."
~ Lauren, age 4

"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you."
~ Karen, age 7

"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget."
~ Jessica, age 8

Unquenchable Thirst

I have been horribly, horribly thirsty for the past few days. My first thought was: well, I'm running more, so obviously I need more water. My second though was diabetes. But I'm also a bit of a hypochondriac, so I've decided just to drink water and wait for awhile.

And keep looking up diabetes symptoms online, even though I have been forbidden to use the internet for things unrelated to work.

By the way, I'm in the office until 5 tonight. Yes, I am.

Taking my internet away (and I had been abiding by this new rule, except for the diabetes scare, until I started this post) is absolutely crippling. Not just because I feel the need to send a constant stream of thoughts and ideas out into the void that is the interweb with the desperate hope of actually connecting with someone. I also need the information connection. I want access to news, opinions, literature, art, symptom lists, grammar, dictionaries. I want to be able to look up whatever obscure piece of trivia pops into my head while I'm typing up a list of plumbing equipment for a high school in Delaware.

And they are trying to take that away from me. They are stifling my thirst for knowledge.

Maybe that's why I've been drinking so much water lately.

But it's probably the running.

Why no man?

So, the internet has created this entire new medium for people to hit on each other with. I respect that. I do not respect, however, the blatant uncreativity that has resulted from this new format.

A little bit of dullness can be expected in a live action pick-up. Afterall, the pick-upER is on the spot and likely to fall back on tried and true methods of hitting-on (the language in this blog is very awkard, so far- 'pick-up and hit-on conjugated in different words- if anyone has better ideas, please let me know).

But on the interweb, there is time to think before you write. And yet, on myspace, these are the sorts of messages I very often get:

hi your cute why no man?

That is not a paraphrase. It is an actual message sent to me by a young man attending a nearby college.

How is that, in any way, supposed to impress me or grab my attention?

But, in honor of that hideous message, I am composing a short list.

WHY NO MAN
1- Circumstance.
2- Bad Choices.
3- Limited Availability.
4- Good Choices.
5- High Standards.
6- Beneath my clothes, my body is completely covered with scales.

It is certainly not a crime to be 23 and single. As I told my Dad last night at dinner, when we weren't arguing about politics.

Dad: Well, I don't understand anything about registering. Maybe if one of my daughters ever got married.
***Keep in mind, my sisters are 17 and 12, so by 'one of my daughters', the man meant me. Also, as my mother pointed out to him, he was married twice, so he should know something about registering.***
Me: Think of it this way- isn't it better for me to be single than to be married to one of the losers I've met so far?

Then my Dad lifted his glass of Chianti in a toast to me and my single-ness.

Take that, world!