Before I sat down to write this, I had to reconcile myself with what I am doing and why. I believe in privacy: am I infringing on this right? I’m only twenty-three, and I have some skeletons in my shallow closet: can I point a finger at people only half a decade younger? I’ve never had kids: can I criticize parents who turn a blind eye to their offspring’s behavior? And finally: do I really care what the younger part of my generation is doing with their lives?
Since the answer to the last question is an emphatic ‘yes’, I had no choice but to write this piece.
It is no newsflash that a large portion of this country’s kids are partaking in far too much alcohol, drugs and sex to make most of us comfortable. Everyone’s looking for someone to blame: the media, the schools, the country, the parents.
Parents are in the best position to correct individual behavior. Certainly it is a difficult position. Teenagers don’t generally confess their illegal behavior. And many parents believe that their kids deserve privacy. No one wants to be the Mom or Dad who rushes up to search the bedroom the moment a child leaves for school. Privacy is important. Trust is important, though not always earned. And in the end, the main enforcer of justice in a child’s life must be the parent. But how do we discover if a crime has been committed?
Mothers and fathers of America, may I direct your attention to the internet?
The internet is an easy tool for your teenager, and it is oh-so-public. In all probability, your child has been using it for years to chat with friends on AIM, record personal thoughts publicly in a blog, or post pictures taken on a digital camera at the latest party. All of these tools have come together on myspace. Those of us who can’t get enough of airing our privacy like it because it’s extensive and easy-to-use.
It’s easy for parents to use as well.
I’ll give you a step by step introduction. Go to www.myspace.com. Click on ‘Search’. Type your child’s name in Friend Finder- first and last. Sift through the results, noting clues like photos and location.
Once you find your teenager’s profile, you will be able to view personal photos, comments from friends, blogs and much more. It’s not spying. Neither is it impeding on your child’s privacy, as this is the same information he or she makes available to millions of strangers every day. It’s good parenting.
It is possible your child doesn’t utilize this site, but with almost fifty million users just in my network alone, it’s worth a look. Perhaps your kid’s best friend or boyfriend is a myspace user. There are also other blog sites, such as blogger and livejournal, and sites where your teenager can post digital pictures. These are all harder to search through; with myspace, all that’s required is a name.
My little sister just turned eighteen and is a high school senior. We both have myspace profiles. She is my myspace ‘friend’. Through her high school career, I never found anything inappropriate on her profile page. Her seventeen year old friends are a different story. I see pictures of them with bottles of alcohol in their hands and comments about how drunk they were on New Year’s Eve. They answer survey questions about drug use and sex.
Most teenagers think their parents don’t know how to check up on their internet activities. Most teenagers are correct. However, this tool is available to you. It is possible to see what your child is doing with his or her free time without looking for a diary or drug traces or violating the private sanctity of the bedroom.
None of this matters if parents don’t use this information. There’s no site where your peers can check up on how you raise your children and if you discipline them for bad behavior. That’s your freedom and your choice. This piece is for those of you who care and who will act.
This has been my public service announcement.
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