This year marked my second coaching Varsity Cheerleading, an insane decision I made in a moment of weakness inspired by a bunch of pleading girls. If I didn't coach Varsity Cheerleading, there wouldn't be a squad. So I coached Varsity Cheerleading-- me, the non-athletic book/drama nerd. And I discovered that the stereotypes about cheerleaders are true: they are MEAN girls. They wear their nails too long, they fight, and they cry a lot. A LOT. I'm not coaching next year, though mostly because I think the girls need/deserve a coach who actually knows what she's doing, not because of the drama.
But one of my graduating seniors gave me a really sweet note (and some kickin' Bath and Body works lotion and mist...coconut lime is awesome) that almost made me reconsider. ALMOST.
It reads:
"This is a thank you for everything. Thank you for coaching when we didn't have a coach. Mostly, thank you for staying through the bad times. You were very strong through the season and just thank you. I am going to miss you but I will be back."
A few more tidbits from my week...
When discussing valid research sources with a student
Me: Who is the author of this site? You can't use a website unless you can prove to me who the author is and why you should trust that person.
Student: But look, this is from Arizona, so it has to be legit! Arizona!
Overheard between a student and a fellow teacher/friend of mine
Student: What's 1 + 1?
Teacher: Did you really just ask me 1 + 1?
Student: Yeah.
Teacher: 7
Student: See, this No Child Left Behind stuff does not work!
Saturday, May 26, 2012
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
The times they are a-changing...
Assignment: Is the world changing for the better or the worse? Write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue, using examples taken from your reading, studies and personal experiences.
Note: This is practice for their final exam essay, which is supposed to be based on SAT essays and SAT format. My students have been taught how to write a quick (25 minute) 3 part thesis, 5 paragraph essay in response to these types of prompts. Well, I hope they've been taught...
A Sampling of responses:
The world is changing for the worse in a variety of different ways. Sneakers, unemployment, and education are a few ideas why I believe so.
Then the use of slang and incorrect grammer which is usually found in the African American community. I don't understand how you was born in American and you are unable to speak correct English, but people from other countries are able to come to America and taking English as there second language and doing better then our so called native speaker...I understand English is one of the hardest languages but if you can't speak it your better off not opening you mouth.
I say without science I think that we wouldn't have known the knowledge to know that the solar system is in space, and also creating molecular bombs and other electronics throughout the world.
In the long run to when this generation becomes old and useless, we will look back on our history and ask is it better or worse than before.
The United States should legalize weed because it is a good thing to calm you down and Doctors say it's a bring you down drug and not a pick you up like crack and other drugs that are really bad for you.
Humans treat the economy these days like it is just a trash can and that is hard enough that we have oil spills and etc.
Just think if technology diden't exist, How would our car run, trains, move, televisions work, phone calls be made and franchise businesses be built. Every thing we use is technology down to even your microwave and electricl can opener.
The Arts created a entertainment to this world. Like plays before this time people rarely saw plays but since Tyler Perry started his plays everybody went to go see them. Now plays are knowned everywhere.
The world is getting worst because of gas prices...People are having fill up their vehicle almost 3 times a week. If you are like my mother she has a big truck and she works far from where we live. In order for her to get to work she is forced to buy lots of gas.
Osama Bin Ladden was the leader of the terrorist and the cause of hundreds of people.
Then abortion is bad because people shouldn't kill a baby and think its ok with that if you pregnant have your kid people think it hard to take care of them. Then it probably easy, female that dont want kid take birth control pills. Its not fair for a unborn baby bout to be in the world life gets taking. Last one is gay marriage because the world was meant for female and males to get married. Not male and male or female and female Adam and Eve was a male and female. Then some states allow that then kids going to think that good to be gay. People dont think about how there parent would feel.
The world is changing for better/worse because of GPS, old people not driving nomore, & polution.
Do you think the world is changeing? I think it's not because all the bad things thats happening in the world today. People are getting shott and killed for dumb reasons...On the news alot of things happen to young people like Trayvon Martin. He was an inosent boy and was killed. Gays wants to take over or get married some support, some not. In history, teachers teach about the holocaust and how it effected people. The world is sometimes mean but certain ones make it that way.
The world is rappedly changeing thing are getting better, but worse at the same time because of war, weed, and Xbox's.
Some current events have done some good for the earth. A good example is the end of slavery.
The world is actually staying the same just with different forms of technology and history will always be the same. Just like the dinosaurs claim for territory ad war were always going on. Two examples of history is first, WWII led by Hitler...Also, the dinosaur's were whipped out just like we have animals going exticnt today and soon so will the humans, seeing how studies show the Y cromosome is slowly fading away and show the males will die-out giving the women no way to reproduce and Humanity will be whipped out...Also, as a weapon to kill the gun is used very similar to that of a dinosaur's teeth or claws which purpose was to kill to claim peace, food, or land which is what we as humans do today.
I think the dinosaur essay was my favorite. You're welcome, internet.
Note: This is practice for their final exam essay, which is supposed to be based on SAT essays and SAT format. My students have been taught how to write a quick (25 minute) 3 part thesis, 5 paragraph essay in response to these types of prompts. Well, I hope they've been taught...
A Sampling of responses:
The world is changing for the worse in a variety of different ways. Sneakers, unemployment, and education are a few ideas why I believe so.
Then the use of slang and incorrect grammer which is usually found in the African American community. I don't understand how you was born in American and you are unable to speak correct English, but people from other countries are able to come to America and taking English as there second language and doing better then our so called native speaker...I understand English is one of the hardest languages but if you can't speak it your better off not opening you mouth.
I say without science I think that we wouldn't have known the knowledge to know that the solar system is in space, and also creating molecular bombs and other electronics throughout the world.
In the long run to when this generation becomes old and useless, we will look back on our history and ask is it better or worse than before.
The United States should legalize weed because it is a good thing to calm you down and Doctors say it's a bring you down drug and not a pick you up like crack and other drugs that are really bad for you.
Humans treat the economy these days like it is just a trash can and that is hard enough that we have oil spills and etc.
Just think if technology diden't exist, How would our car run, trains, move, televisions work, phone calls be made and franchise businesses be built. Every thing we use is technology down to even your microwave and electricl can opener.
The Arts created a entertainment to this world. Like plays before this time people rarely saw plays but since Tyler Perry started his plays everybody went to go see them. Now plays are knowned everywhere.
The world is getting worst because of gas prices...People are having fill up their vehicle almost 3 times a week. If you are like my mother she has a big truck and she works far from where we live. In order for her to get to work she is forced to buy lots of gas.
Osama Bin Ladden was the leader of the terrorist and the cause of hundreds of people.
Then abortion is bad because people shouldn't kill a baby and think its ok with that if you pregnant have your kid people think it hard to take care of them. Then it probably easy, female that dont want kid take birth control pills. Its not fair for a unborn baby bout to be in the world life gets taking. Last one is gay marriage because the world was meant for female and males to get married. Not male and male or female and female Adam and Eve was a male and female. Then some states allow that then kids going to think that good to be gay. People dont think about how there parent would feel.
The world is changing for better/worse because of GPS, old people not driving nomore, & polution.
Do you think the world is changeing? I think it's not because all the bad things thats happening in the world today. People are getting shott and killed for dumb reasons...On the news alot of things happen to young people like Trayvon Martin. He was an inosent boy and was killed. Gays wants to take over or get married some support, some not. In history, teachers teach about the holocaust and how it effected people. The world is sometimes mean but certain ones make it that way.
The world is rappedly changeing thing are getting better, but worse at the same time because of war, weed, and Xbox's.
Some current events have done some good for the earth. A good example is the end of slavery.
The world is actually staying the same just with different forms of technology and history will always be the same. Just like the dinosaurs claim for territory ad war were always going on. Two examples of history is first, WWII led by Hitler...Also, the dinosaur's were whipped out just like we have animals going exticnt today and soon so will the humans, seeing how studies show the Y cromosome is slowly fading away and show the males will die-out giving the women no way to reproduce and Humanity will be whipped out...Also, as a weapon to kill the gun is used very similar to that of a dinosaur's teeth or claws which purpose was to kill to claim peace, food, or land which is what we as humans do today.
I think the dinosaur essay was my favorite. You're welcome, internet.
Wednesday, May 09, 2012
Young Love
Driving home from work today, I saw two large signs posted in a field across from the local private school. They were made of large sheets of plywood and what looked like warning paint; it was bright orange. The first set of plywood sheets read: KATIE. The second: PROM? I'm not sure what the correct sequence of those two words was- KATIE, PROM? or PROM? KATIE but it was sweet.
I hope the private school's prom is later than ours. Ours is Friday, which is leaving things a little late.
I hope the private school's prom is later than ours. Ours is Friday, which is leaving things a little late.
Wednesday, May 02, 2012
And somewhat wiser...
So I'm pretty obsessed with my upcoming 30th birthday. No way around it. Today my 23 year old roommmate was complaining about men with receding hairlines. She refuses to date such monstrosities until she is 30. So by her count I have 3 months, 1 week and 4 days left to find a man with a full head of hair.
But I digress. Today was a day when I was able to feel that I have at least learned a little in my nearly 30 years on this earth. Invaluable wisdom that I may pass on to those younger and/or less intelligent than myself.
My first young grasshopper, my youngest sister, is ten years my junior and attends my alma mater. She also, coincidentally, lives in the same room that I once did. It's the week before finals, and she has planned some end of the year festivities with her suitemates...
MK: We're all going to drink our favorite things. It's our last night to get drunk together. But Emma has to study, so she's just doing the gallon challenge with milk. And Scott is matching us shot for shot with coffee, cuz he needs to study too.
Me: Shot for shot with what? And what are you drinking?
MK: I'm just drinking Corona. I have to get up early for a 9:10 class, so I'm just doing a power hour, and Scott is matching me shot for shot.
Me: You are all morons.
MK: What?
Me: Have you ever done a power hour before?
MK: No.
So I hand out my hard-earned wisdom. I explain to my sister that I doubt she can make it through half a power hour, let alone make it through a power hour and then go to class the next morning. I explain that anyone who consumes 60 shots of coffee is going to find it extremely difficult to sit down and study and or keep from throwing up. And lastly, I share my own experience chugging a gallon of milk during my hazing days, which resulted in puking and days of extremely painful stomach cramps. She seemed skeptical-- they have to learn from themselves-- but said she'd talk to her suitemates.
Later this evening, I was talking to that same 23 year old roommate. She was in rare form tonight.
Example:
R: Can you put mascara on dogs?
Me: No. And don't put your finger in the dog's eye.
Then she told us a story about her college boyfriend who she filed a restraining order against, because when they broke up, he sent her bullets in the mail. She defriended him on facebook, of course, he couldn't call her, and he wasn't allowed to attend any college campus parties she attended. The restraining order ended when she graduated. She said he called a few times but then her step-father called and put at stop to it all. She ended the story with "and then he called me one last time, when I defriended him on facebook again."
Me: Meaning you friended him again? The boy who sent you bullets in the mail?
R: Yeah.
Me: Never friend your ex-boyfriend, who you file a restraining order against, who sends you bullets in the mail. Never. Okay?
R: Yeah, I guess...
Yes. Older, and so much wiser.
But I digress. Today was a day when I was able to feel that I have at least learned a little in my nearly 30 years on this earth. Invaluable wisdom that I may pass on to those younger and/or less intelligent than myself.
My first young grasshopper, my youngest sister, is ten years my junior and attends my alma mater. She also, coincidentally, lives in the same room that I once did. It's the week before finals, and she has planned some end of the year festivities with her suitemates...
MK: We're all going to drink our favorite things. It's our last night to get drunk together. But Emma has to study, so she's just doing the gallon challenge with milk. And Scott is matching us shot for shot with coffee, cuz he needs to study too.
Me: Shot for shot with what? And what are you drinking?
MK: I'm just drinking Corona. I have to get up early for a 9:10 class, so I'm just doing a power hour, and Scott is matching me shot for shot.
Me: You are all morons.
MK: What?
Me: Have you ever done a power hour before?
MK: No.
So I hand out my hard-earned wisdom. I explain to my sister that I doubt she can make it through half a power hour, let alone make it through a power hour and then go to class the next morning. I explain that anyone who consumes 60 shots of coffee is going to find it extremely difficult to sit down and study and or keep from throwing up. And lastly, I share my own experience chugging a gallon of milk during my hazing days, which resulted in puking and days of extremely painful stomach cramps. She seemed skeptical-- they have to learn from themselves-- but said she'd talk to her suitemates.
Later this evening, I was talking to that same 23 year old roommate. She was in rare form tonight.
Example:
R: Can you put mascara on dogs?
Me: No. And don't put your finger in the dog's eye.
Then she told us a story about her college boyfriend who she filed a restraining order against, because when they broke up, he sent her bullets in the mail. She defriended him on facebook, of course, he couldn't call her, and he wasn't allowed to attend any college campus parties she attended. The restraining order ended when she graduated. She said he called a few times but then her step-father called and put at stop to it all. She ended the story with "and then he called me one last time, when I defriended him on facebook again."
Me: Meaning you friended him again? The boy who sent you bullets in the mail?
R: Yeah.
Me: Never friend your ex-boyfriend, who you file a restraining order against, who sends you bullets in the mail. Never. Okay?
R: Yeah, I guess...
Yes. Older, and so much wiser.
Tuesday, May 01, 2012
Zoom, Zoom: the stationary desk
So today, I was sitting in the teacher's lounge, getting ready to heat up my Healthy Choice Rotini, when I heard an enormous crash coming from the classroom next door. Sort of like a massive file cabinet imploding or, perhaps, a fight between Iron Man and the Hulk (what? The Avengers is coming out this weekend. Some people care about that. Not me, but some people). The other teacher and I take a beat, look at each other, then run for the classroom.
A side note: I am 5'2". Maybe. With my little boots on. H, the teacher with me, is very tall but quite thin. Blonde and from the Midwest. The other cheerleading coach. What I'm saying is, neither of us is muscle-bound. Neither of us is a formidable opponent.
In the classroom, we find a slightly alarmed substitute, and a girl in a rage, throwing desks at other students. Yup, actually picking them up and heaving them, mostly in the general direction of a very large boy, who is clearly taunting her, but it is a small classroom, and desks are rather unwieldy, so they're sort of flying everywhere. Apparently, I learn between screams, the boy spit on her. I don't know what provoked the spitting.
H grabs the desk-thrower, so I move towards the boy, putting myself between the two combatants and projecting (NOT yelling) that he needs to SIT DOWN NOW! SIT DOWN. RIGHT NOW. NOW. SIT. Sometimes, I am not the cleverest wordsmith when breaking up a fight.
This plan of attack is, predictably, ineffective.
As I am projecting (not yelling) and desks are flying by me, and I am standing between a rabid wild child and her potential prey (who is, still, yelling taunts at her and things like "say that to my face!" which I'm pretty sure she was doing, with both words and desks), I keep thinking, "This is it. This is the day I'm going to get hit." Possibly by a fist, possibly by a desk. I can't help but think that day is inevitable, based on my tendency to fling myself in the middle of warring teenagers.
Teachers should not break up fights for many reasons. 1-We are not taught the safe way to separate children. I know from some of my friends who are that there is a safe way to hold a child, so he/she cannot injure himself or others. I don't know how to do this. I break up a fight, and I hurt my back. Luckily, I have never hurt a child because if I do, 2- I could get sued. This is why I'm a member of the union, but still. It isn't something I want to risk. And 3- If the child hits one of us, even accidentally, that is it for him/her. Fighting another student generally gets a child a 10 day suspension (the max) but not an expulsion. Hitting a teacher or administrator is automatic expulsion.
And then, of course, 4- It is not my job, and I don't get paid enough!
Yet, if I see a fight, I can't help it. I jump right in, my little 5'2" self, and starting projecting (not yelling) my head off and puffing myself up like some kind of bearded dragon, hoping that children, like bears, might be scared off if I make enough noise and wave my arms (generally, they are not).
Long story short: today is not the day I was hit. A short eternity (probably about 1-1/2 to 2 minutes) after our intervention, the cops and the administrators came running in and, once there were more adults in the room than children, the fight was finally stopped. The perpetrators were hauled off. A small girl, who had been sitting at her desk calmly listening to her headphones for the entire encounter, looked up at me, sighed, and said, "I got spit on, too. May I go to the bathroom to wash it off?"
In unrelated news, I am considering taking a day off this week.
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Then again, maybe I won't...
Remember a long, long time ago (yesterday), when I said I "no longer feel threatened" by all the babies and that I have surrendered to it?
Lies.
Bold-faced lies, my friends.
I thought that's how I felt, but that is before I went to my cousin's daughter's first birthday party. Where I was the only single person and one of the only people not toting a baby. Most of those people were guys I went to high school with, the popular, fun-loving, heavy-drinking crew that you never thought would settle down with one girl, let alone settle all the way into fatherhood. Those guys and their wives, most of them with various levels of baby weight and beautiful, smiling cherubs balanced on their hips.
And now I feel a little bit bad about my life choices...like I am not part of the secret, special club that I really do want to be a member of some day. To make matters worse, on my way home, I called one of my perpetually single friends, The Rockstar, who, granted, I have not hung out with in a few months, and she is celebrating her boyfriend's birthday tonight. Boyfriend. So now I am obviously the only single person in the world. Which, let's face it, will make marriage and subsequent procreation difficult.
Lies.
Bold-faced lies, my friends.
I thought that's how I felt, but that is before I went to my cousin's daughter's first birthday party. Where I was the only single person and one of the only people not toting a baby. Most of those people were guys I went to high school with, the popular, fun-loving, heavy-drinking crew that you never thought would settle down with one girl, let alone settle all the way into fatherhood. Those guys and their wives, most of them with various levels of baby weight and beautiful, smiling cherubs balanced on their hips.
And now I feel a little bit bad about my life choices...like I am not part of the secret, special club that I really do want to be a member of some day. To make matters worse, on my way home, I called one of my perpetually single friends, The Rockstar, who, granted, I have not hung out with in a few months, and she is celebrating her boyfriend's birthday tonight. Boyfriend. So now I am obviously the only single person in the world. Which, let's face it, will make marriage and subsequent procreation difficult.
Friday, April 27, 2012
Babies! Now, with more BABY.
My cousin and his wife are now the parents of twins. Twins. That's right. Not one, but two babies.
Double the cute. Half the sleep.
I went to visit them for the first time in their brief two week existence last night. My cousin looks thrilled but exhausted. His wife looks exhausted but somehow...calmer? Like having two babies has taken some kind of edge off her, removed a polish so now she looks softer and more real. I don't know if that makes any sense. And this is, for the record, not saying anything derogatory about my cousin's wife pre or post babies. I like my cousin's wife. I'm just trying to describe her ineffable aura of motherhood: the way lack of sleep, lack of makeup and absolute bliss rest on a person's face. She has more freckles than I realized.
With the proper arm prop, I think I could hold a newborn forever. I am a baby person. I want to hold them, stroke their little feet, curl their tiny fists around my finger. When they're older, I want to play peek-a-boo and swing them upside down as they chortle with delight. And I no longer feel threatened (I think) by the wave of infants crashing over me from facebook and real life. Maybe a little threatened, or I would have chosen a different image than a crashing wave. Something friendler. But the wave is there. It is inevitable. I surrender to it. Go forth and multiply friends, relatives, former classmates.
Me? Some day.
In other news, it appears my roommate is dating the son of a foreign arms dealer, who is taking her to a house party/rave this weekend. I am fairly certain her life should be a reality TV show.
Double the cute. Half the sleep.
I went to visit them for the first time in their brief two week existence last night. My cousin looks thrilled but exhausted. His wife looks exhausted but somehow...calmer? Like having two babies has taken some kind of edge off her, removed a polish so now she looks softer and more real. I don't know if that makes any sense. And this is, for the record, not saying anything derogatory about my cousin's wife pre or post babies. I like my cousin's wife. I'm just trying to describe her ineffable aura of motherhood: the way lack of sleep, lack of makeup and absolute bliss rest on a person's face. She has more freckles than I realized.
With the proper arm prop, I think I could hold a newborn forever. I am a baby person. I want to hold them, stroke their little feet, curl their tiny fists around my finger. When they're older, I want to play peek-a-boo and swing them upside down as they chortle with delight. And I no longer feel threatened (I think) by the wave of infants crashing over me from facebook and real life. Maybe a little threatened, or I would have chosen a different image than a crashing wave. Something friendler. But the wave is there. It is inevitable. I surrender to it. Go forth and multiply friends, relatives, former classmates.
Me? Some day.
In other news, it appears my roommate is dating the son of a foreign arms dealer, who is taking her to a house party/rave this weekend. I am fairly certain her life should be a reality TV show.
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Angry Face Teacher
Being a teacher truly requires being an island of calm in an ocean of chaos and general ineptitude. My calm facade is practiced and perfect. Do I raise my voice? Sure. But only deliberately. My students, however, do not know this.
There are a few loud voices that I use. There is the simple projection- no emotion behind it, I just need to be heard over the cacaphony of adolescent voices. Then there is the loud but annoyed/disappointed voice. FOUR OUT OF TWENTY-SEVEN OF YOU TURNED IN YOUR HOMEWORK. THIS IS AN ISSUE AND A POOR LIFE CHOICE (I often tell my students that they are making poor life choices. It is generally true). Then there is the LOUD AND FURIOUS VOICE. Today, for the first time this year, I believe, I brought out my loud and furious voice for my 4th period class.
I came into the room from hall duty, hoping to see a class of quiet, orderly students, seated and working on a drill (one can always hope) and instead saw four of my male students beating on each other in the back of the classroom. Not maliciously, just the way that 15 year old boys horse around. But it was disruptive and not allowed. So, natch, loud and furious voice.
SIT DOWN RIGHT NOW! THIS BEHAVIOR IS UNACCEPTABLE. GET IN YOUR SEATS RIGHT NOW. NOW. (The word now is quite fun to say in a furious voice).
A scattering of students. And then stunned, jaw-dropping silence. Not a peep out of them for a good twenty minutes. The loud and furious voice is quite the powerful weapon.
Was I that angry? Nope. Did they really deserve my wrath and thunder? Negative. Had they been annoying the crap out of me the past few days and just needed the fear of god put into them? Yes indeed.
In other news, my week started with finding a kitchen knife the size of my forearm in the hallway. Oh, public schools.
There are a few loud voices that I use. There is the simple projection- no emotion behind it, I just need to be heard over the cacaphony of adolescent voices. Then there is the loud but annoyed/disappointed voice. FOUR OUT OF TWENTY-SEVEN OF YOU TURNED IN YOUR HOMEWORK. THIS IS AN ISSUE AND A POOR LIFE CHOICE (I often tell my students that they are making poor life choices. It is generally true). Then there is the LOUD AND FURIOUS VOICE. Today, for the first time this year, I believe, I brought out my loud and furious voice for my 4th period class.
I came into the room from hall duty, hoping to see a class of quiet, orderly students, seated and working on a drill (one can always hope) and instead saw four of my male students beating on each other in the back of the classroom. Not maliciously, just the way that 15 year old boys horse around. But it was disruptive and not allowed. So, natch, loud and furious voice.
SIT DOWN RIGHT NOW! THIS BEHAVIOR IS UNACCEPTABLE. GET IN YOUR SEATS RIGHT NOW. NOW. (The word now is quite fun to say in a furious voice).
A scattering of students. And then stunned, jaw-dropping silence. Not a peep out of them for a good twenty minutes. The loud and furious voice is quite the powerful weapon.
Was I that angry? Nope. Did they really deserve my wrath and thunder? Negative. Had they been annoying the crap out of me the past few days and just needed the fear of god put into them? Yes indeed.
In other news, my week started with finding a kitchen knife the size of my forearm in the hallway. Oh, public schools.
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