And somewhat wiser...

So I'm pretty obsessed with my upcoming 30th birthday. No way around it. Today my 23 year old roommmate was complaining about men with receding hairlines. She refuses to date such monstrosities until she is 30. So by her count I have 3 months, 1 week and 4 days left to find a man with a full head of hair.

But I digress. Today was a day when I was able to feel that I have at least learned a little in my nearly 30 years on this earth. Invaluable wisdom that I may pass on to those younger and/or less intelligent than myself.

My first young grasshopper, my youngest sister, is ten years my junior and attends my alma mater. She also, coincidentally, lives in the same room that I once did. It's the week before finals, and she has planned some end of the year festivities with her suitemates...

MK: We're all going to drink our favorite things. It's our last night to get drunk together. But Emma has to study, so she's just doing the gallon challenge with milk. And Scott is matching us shot for shot with coffee, cuz he needs to study too.
Me: Shot for shot with what? And what are you drinking?
MK: I'm just drinking Corona. I have to get up early for a 9:10 class, so I'm just doing a power hour, and Scott is matching me shot for shot.
Me: You are all morons.
MK: What?
Me: Have you ever done a power hour before?
MK: No.

So I hand out my hard-earned wisdom. I explain to my sister that I doubt she can make it through half a power hour, let alone make it through a power hour and then go to class the next morning. I explain that anyone who consumes 60 shots of coffee is going to find it extremely difficult to sit down and study and or keep from throwing up. And lastly, I share my own experience chugging a gallon of milk during my hazing days, which resulted in puking and days of extremely painful stomach cramps. She seemed skeptical-- they have to learn from themselves-- but said she'd talk to her suitemates.

Later this evening, I was talking to that same 23 year old roommate. She was in rare form tonight.

Example:
R: Can you put mascara on dogs?
Me: No. And don't put your finger in the dog's eye.

Then she told us a story about her college boyfriend who she filed a restraining order against, because when they broke up, he sent her bullets in the mail. She defriended him on facebook, of course, he couldn't call her, and he wasn't allowed to attend any college campus parties she attended. The restraining order ended when she graduated. She said he called a few times but then her step-father called and put at stop to it all. She ended the story with "and then he called me one last time, when I defriended him on facebook again."

Me: Meaning you friended him again? The boy who sent you bullets in the mail?
R: Yeah.
Me: Never friend your ex-boyfriend, who you file a restraining order against, who sends you bullets in the mail. Never. Okay?
R: Yeah, I guess...


Yes. Older, and so much wiser.