SWF seeking ICFPDE (see if you can decipher that one)

Last night one of my best friends called to fill me in on the new developments in her love life. Said friend, though an amazingly smart and competent woman, is rather shy around men, so her romantic updates are rare. But after much persuasion from another friend, she had signed up for match.com. Through the online medium, she was able to carefully compose her words without getting flustered. After a couple of weeks, she felt comfortable enough to meet for dinner and achieved the elusive successful first date.

I can understand the attraction to the world of internet romance. I gave online dating a shot a few months ago, posting a somewhat witty entry on craigslist, entitled “Writer looking for possibilities.” After wading through many a twisted responses, I’d found one- just one- who inspired enough confidence that I agreed to meet him for a drink. Then I chickened out at the last minute and met some of my friends in the Village instead. Now I wonder where did my friend discover this courage that I can’t tap into?

Maybe my problem was the medium through which I chose to explore online dating. For every “looking for a cute, nice girl,” craigslist has three sugar daddy ads and a proposition from a foot fetishist. I probably wasn’t attracting the cream of the online dating crop.

So, always one to learn from a friend’s successes, I hopped on over to match.com. Within five minutes, I’d found a cute, smiling Australian with a full time job and no noticeable defects. Match.com is so clean-cut and institutionalized compared to craigslist, where you’re just as likely to click on a picture of a pierced penis or a cartoon character as a smiling man. Still, online dating freaks me out. It’s like ordering clothes on the internet: how can I know something fits if I don’t have the hands-on experience? What's that fabric look like in real life and less flattering lighting? Though I suppose clothes and bad dates can always be sent back.

But until I get up the guts, I’ll have to keep trying to meet men in the conventional way: by willing them to me with tipsy eyes through a crowded bar.