It might be about upping revenues for the card companies and florists of our great land: the best marketing ploy ever. It might be about a Christian martyr who married couples against Roman law. It might be a celebration of the coming spring.
Doesn't matter. Whatever the cause, it's a part of our culture and we have to deal with it.
In college, I had the best method of dealing. My friend Carolyn and I threw a party in the theater called 'The Got No Lovin' Party'. Everyone was required to bring an alcoholic beverage (generally shots were chosen, but mixed drinks were popular as well) that either described his/her love life or was of a sexual nature (blowjobs were the most popular shot the first year). At least one of those drinks still lives on in infamy here.
No pieces of couples were allowed until after midnight- only whole singles. And while I don't think anyone found someone to fill the S.O. spot in their lives, I know some people found someone to fill the spot in their beds for the night.
But now I'm out of college and Valentine's Day presses on, relentless as ever. Last year, I went out to dinner with girlfriends. This year, I am going to the gym and then studying Sartre's Naseau in my grad class. Living in the real world seems to allow less time to create occasion out of nothing.
I chose my outfit with great care today. I'm not sure if it was to give the impression that I had something special to dress up for or to celebrate the fact that I am special/beautiful/fabulous, even without an S.O. on Valentine's Day. I am hoping for the latter. Because, as I stated in the last post, I'm not sure what I'm trying to prove to anyone.
It isn't so hard to get through the day if you're single on Valentine's. You can ignore it much easier than Christmas. The world doesn't change for this holiday. It chugs along with a few more pinks and reds and flowers thrown into the mix. So, you can ignore it. Or you can celebrate being single (Single Awareness Day is what a lot of people call it, though I do feel it is more of a Singles Discrimination Day). Or you can celebrate all of the people you love in your life: your family, your friends. Why should I feel bad because I have many, many people to focus my love on? If you're in a relationship, you're supposed to love one person more; love one person special. I can love everyone, and everyone can love me. Wheeeeee!
A friend of mine is with a man right now who she is fairly confident is the one. The last time she was in the neighborhood, we went to a bar and talked and talked about men and love and where we saw our lives going. And I told her, quite honestly, where the true joy in being single lies. It's in possibilities. Every time I go out to a bar or to the store or to class, I have the possibility of meeting someone new and wonderful. He might be the man of my dreams. He might be someone I just want to share the next three months with. He might be someone I kiss once at a party and feel warmly content with his brief stay in my life. Now, I don't often meet anyone worthwhile when I go out. But the possibility is there. And that's what makes life so exciting.
In tenth grade English, we read Keats' Ode to A Grecian Urn. My teacher, Mr. Jira, told us that what the poem was truly about was a moment he called 'the ultimate wow'. He said Keats was saying that the moment before a kiss, the anticipation, was so much better than the actual kiss. Never having engaged in the subtle sport of kissing at the time, I believed him.
"Heard melodies are sweet, but those unheard
Are sweeter; therefore, ye soft pipes, play on..."
That's what being twenty-three and single is like. The possibility of who you might meet and what you might do is so much greater than any romance you have lingering in your past. And so while I might be alone- romantically speaking, only- I am not unhappy. I am living in a permanent state of the ultimate wow.
Of course, when I'm older and happily married, I will probably look back at this time of life and shake my head. I'll think of how much happier I am, married and in love, in a pretty little house with pretty little children (here's hoping, someday). But I'm an eternal optimist. I make the best of all situations.
Anyway, however you look at it: Happy Valentine's Day.
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