The (first) Requisite Moving Post

everyone else did one, so why can't I?

A successful move, I am beginning to feel, is in the details. The painstaking little tiny details. Anyone can throw junk into boxes and pile it into a truck. It's the details that work.

I've had a list in my martini-covered briefcase for two weeks now. Everything that has to be done moves on and off that list. It's the conveyor belt of tasks. It includes everything from 'sell car' to 'library books back' to 'Kristin's show'. It is the Bible of My Life.

Yesterday's big task focused on the cat.

My cat, Darcy, is not particularly likeable. I wish I had one of those adorable, cuddily kittenish cats who plays with string and only climbs in your lap when you want her to and doesn't shed profusely or scratch. However, I don't. I have a fairly unhygenic fat cat who only wants to hang out when you're working (the other day, I was writing and she pulled the space bar off of my laptop), gets clumps in her fur that make her back half unpettable, sheds, and scratches anything she can reach.

And I'm about to unleash her on two new unsuspecting roommates.

So yesterday was Extreme Makeover: Cat Edition. I knew if I, who kind of love Darcy, was finding her hard to live with, new people would find her intolerable.

First problem: excessive shedding on the furniture.

I know there is only so much cat hair you can tolerate on your furniture. So I decided to try No Stay, which will apparently keep the source of all cat hair, Darcy herself, off of the furniture. I am trying it out with this small black couch in my bedroom that she loves to sit on. So far...well, nothing. But it's supposed to take four days to work...Also, it's organic. I always feel better when I spend my money on organic products.

Second Problem: The CLAWS

Having decided, after much internet research, that de-clawing is in fact inhumane and only to be used as a very last resort, I happened upon Soft Claws. These puppies glue onto Darcy's paw, rather like Press-On Nails, and are supposed to last for three months. A pack contains 4 sets of nails, so that's a year's supply. For twenty dollars. Not bad, if it works. I wanted to get her the pink so she would be totally stylin'(black, white and pink are HOT together), but they weren't available in her size. Maybe next time.

Getting them on her was monstrously unpleasant and took two hours of television watching and a leash. I had to calm her down enough to cut each claw, put glue in the plastic claws and stick them on. She was NOT a happy kitty. But now she is not a scratchy kitty either.

Problem Numero Three: Icky, matted hair.

No one wants to pet a cat with clumps of nasty hair on her backside. Not even her sometimes loving mama. So, I decided to try this, recommended by a friend for just such problems. So far: not working. The rest of her hair is silky smooth, but the clumps remained clumps. So I cut them out. Maybe you have to catch clumps when they are just forming and not when they've been hanging out on the cat's back for a couple of weeks. Ew.

Yes. I was good business for Petsmart yesterday. But now Darcy is ready for her move to the big city and will, possibly, earn the love and respect of my new roommates...if they can get past her many behavioral problems.

Also: waa, waa! I hate packing.