Notes from the Underground...

Note to self:
Hurricanes taste just like juice. They are not. They have alcohol in them.

Also, there is a reason you do not go out on weeknights, besides your antisocial tendencies and your all-consuming desire to write your novel: It is hard enough to get up for work in the mornings without gallons of alcohol sloshing through your brains. You need sleep. You need sobriety. This is how you make it through the day.

Note to the Marketing team behind the new Pride and Prejudice movie:
Stop listing Jane Austen's credentials on the previews and commercials. It is retar-tar. Critically acclaimed author of Emma and Sense and Sensibility, my arse! Do people advertise Shakespeare's plays by saying: the beloved playwright of such hits as Romeo and Juliet? They do not. Crawl back to marketing school or under your rock or whatever.

Also, Pride and Prejudice is Austen's most famous work. It's like advertising To the Lighthouse or Mrs. Dalloway with: by the talented writer of The Waves and Orlando. Or marketing The Great Gatsby as another hit by the author of The Beautiful and the Damned and The Last Tycoon.

EVERYONE KNOWS WHO WROTE THE GREAT GATSBY!

Likewise with Pride and Prejudice.

I hate illiterate people. And by illiterate, I don't mean the poor souls who can't read; I mean the ones who choose not to.


And that old movie poster is ridiculous in an entirely different way.