Today, I went to get my fingernails painted bright, bright red, because I feel that witches should have blood red fingernails. But there is some self-consciousness involved in blood red fingernails when they don't match your mild mannered secretary alter ego.So I'm sitting in the chair, getting my nails painted by the little Asian woman, who I believe is Vietnamese. And she's talking to the other Asian people in the salon, and they all seem very amused. Here is their conversation, as translated in my head:
Asian Woman Painting My Nails: Look at this red! Wow. Is this girl a prostitute?
Asian Man Painting Nails Next to Us: I think she must be. Have you seen some of the tops she wears in here? Cleavage City!
Asian Woman Who is Sitting in the Pedicure Chair Watching TV: No way. Not a prostitute.
Asian Woman Painting My Nails: How can you tell?
Asian Woman Who is Sitting in the Pedicure Chair Watching TV: I've done her pedicures before. No man would pay to have sex with a woman whose legs are that hairy.
Asian Man Painting Nails Next to Us: That's true. I've done her pedicure before, too. No man could be paid to have sex with a woman whose legs are that hairy. She is obviously single.
Asian Woman Painting My Nails: So she must be overcompensating in a desperate plea for sexual attention. It won't work.
Me (silently, in my head): No! I'm being a witch for Halloween, dammit! A witch!
I did not let their rude behavior affect the amount I tipped.
Won't they feel foolish when my beautiful red nails attract all the menfolk?
